Nervous...

I shouldn't be nervous. It's not like this is some high society gig - it's a community band performance at a local hall in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. It really it's a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

However, I'm still nervous. The band hasn't put on it's own concert with a rented space in forever and I really hope they can pull it off. I'm just really hard on myself and think I could have prepared them more for this performance but at the same time, I can only do so much and I realize that. It's going to be what it is and there will be screw ups, I can guarantee that... I hope that we get back on track quickly when they do happen.

Some people are taking this really seriously which is what is making me nervous. I'm just the sucker that took over but how they play is still a reflection upon me as the director. I don't think I'll ever get use to that, no matter how long I teach or direct. We'll see how it goes.

A "Good Experience"

You know that song "Hello City" by BNL? How about the line "It's 3 o'clock in the morning, and I'm hungry so let's eat"? Well... it's 5:20 am and I'm awake and I'm not sure if I'm hungry but it's still the line of music running through my head right not. I've been up now for over an hour and it's really starting to irritate me.

I did some mundane tasks that I thought would make me drowsy like they normally do (putting clothes away, sorting laundry) but nope. So I figured I'd check the email and see what I'd been avoiding for the past 3 days online. Checked out the Facebook thing and found that the last time I'd updated my profile I'd clicked the interested in women box instead of men so changed that in a hurry and wondered how many people had seen that in the past 3 days. Did the blog rounds and found still nothing much to be new with people so here I am, giving you an update on my past week.

I knew last Friday that this was going to be the week of torture. Monday through to Thursday at 5 was non-stop; filled with work related evening meetings, rehearsals (early in the morning and late at night), and then ... the interview.

This interview was probably the biggest interview (big as in number of people involved in the actual interview, the length of time it took, and the potential it has on my career) in which I'd ever been involved. It consisted of 2 pod interviews (yes, pod) and the Panel. Process as follows.

1. wake up at ungodly hour after not having slept much the night before and feeling sick to your stomach nervous
2. arrive at office - sit and wait
3. go into little room and sit at little table with 3 other people (the pod) and answer 2 questions. You have only 10 minutes - GO!
4. back into foyer and wait for 5 minutes, talk about shoes with the secretary who is doing her best to make small talk at an ungodly hour in the morning and keep you as calm as possible
5. back into little room for pod #2 and answer more questions - remember only 10 minutes allotted so answer well young grasshopper. Discover that your current supervisor is one of the interview people and think - mmmm... interesting turn of events.
6. foyer trip again - weather and art work conversation with secretary.
7. into the BIG room where you are shown to your seat (it's obviously the one at the little table facing the firing squad in front of you consisting of the 6 people from the pods plus the BIG BOSS and another BIG BOSS rep. Think to self - holy crap, what are you doing here you stupid young grasshopper - you are way in over your head.
8. Find that questions in this room are much more difficult than pods and geared specifically for the incumbent. Think to self - remember, you're doing this for the experience... next time it will be easier since you will have been here once before.
9. leave interview, to see incumbent sitting waiting for her turn
   
10. sit in car, scribble down some notes on what they asked you and then remember all the answers you should have and could have given but were too stupid to remember them on the spot

Yup - there ya have it - I'm going with the whole "it was a good experience" thing and yes it was but dang it - How can I have the experience in things they are asking for when that hasn't been my role? Geared for incumbent. Bah.

And now I'm still awake and thinking about all the other other things I could have added to my final statement but whatever. It's done and I won't find out I didn't get the job until Wednesday.