Maggie's Musings

3.09.2008

point?

I feel that I'm missing something... something big.
I'm not a hundred percent as to what it might be but there is something really lacking in my life right now. Maybe I feel this way because it seems that time is standing still for me but for everyone else it's streaking ahead. In the past week alone I've heard of 3 new pregnancies and an 1 new engagement. Today alone I learned of 1 new car and 2 new house purchases. Everyone - except me it feels - is getting on with their lives and if being a 'grownup' where as I'm.... I'm... what the hell am I doing?
I teach which is work. I haven't a social life to speak of (which someone that doesn't know me at all so observantly pointed out to me this morning - thanks :D! ) As I was driving back from the gym today I thought how pointless my current existence is and started thinking how pointless existence is period. I mean, we're born - we grow - we work - we die. If we're anyone but me, so it seems... we'll experience happiness, explore, be challenged, love freely with reciprocation, and enjoy being in general.
I had my charts read a few weeks ago... it scared me. I don't like what's going to be and shockingly, they're so far very accurate. In short... I'm doomed to a miserable and pointless existence. Motivation gone.
the end

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