Why bother

This falls under the "why do I even bother?" category.

I found out tonight that not only did I not the job I'd applied for, I didn't even get an interview or any notification that my application had even been received. And how did I find out? From a friend who heard from a friend who was told by the person who got the job that they got the job. And, just to make it more exciting and an even bigger slap in the face - I found out over the phone, in casual conversation because he figured I must have known that if he knew. Nope.

So he back pedals... fast. "Maybe I heard wrong, or maybe they're just being optimistic...?" Right.

(@*#&

What the hell is the point anymore? I'm treading water here but am still drowning. I'm not sure why I'm bothering to stick if out in this place if I'm not even going to be given a chance. Maybe I will have to just to the 'mature' thing and leave to go... where? Nunavut? Maybe the states? I don't know.. but I think if things don't change soon I'm going to have to leave and that's really the very last thing I want to do. I'd become a fucking bar maid before I leave. This is not cool... not cool at all. The employee people really don't know what they're going to loose when they loose me... notice it's not an if... at this rate it's most certainly a when.