Wanted: New Lease on Life

I've just finished a really long haul of working both during actual work time and a lot of extra curricular obligations, and now I feel lost. I'm not sure what to do with my time. It's not like there isn't a long list of things I need to be doing, it's just that that long list isn't very enticing: cleaning, sorting, organizing. The problem is that I have this other list of things I want to be doing but know I don't have enough time to do them well enough for my liking.

I was having a conversation with a colleague this weekend about how I'm thinking about starting a new project. He told me I shouldn't because I'm doing too much as it is. I didn't like that. I hear that from people all the time but I disagree because the stuff that I'm doing isn't something I love. I don't count the 'job' as something I'm doing - I count that as something I'm surviving. If it were conducting, or research, or something, I'd be all for it but I'm not doing that stuff. I'm banging my head against the wall preparing for classes that I don't want to be dealing with and am in constant survival mode.

So how do I stop? I've been told time and time again that I'm a workaholic and I don't think that's true. I can do nothing and have for most of today. I am the biggest procrastinator I know. How do I start to like my job again and feel fulfilled in my work? Sometimes I feel the actual teaching part gets in the way of all the things I'd like to be doing with my job - how warped is that? Other times it's the other way but not as often. But hang on, maybe I'm confusing teaching with classroom management and discipline. I think that may be it. I'm burning out and fast due to the lack of discipline in the classes.

I'd like to think I've very good at classroom management, but I'm also thinking that I'm stagnating in my actual teaching abilities which is leading to bored students which in turn are disruptive. So then I get frustrated with my job and want to be doing something else. I can't be good at my job if I don't research things and prepare but I don't have time to research and prepare if I'm involved in job and extra curricular things. Then again, if all I do is continue to work like I am, I will be one of the many teachers that burn out after their fifth year. I don't want to be a statistic. I need a vacation.